


Couples Try Having Sex While High

by ElasticElla



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, rating we're like hard teen or v soft mature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Every other couple has failed the challenge. Ryan and Shane will succeed, have booked one way tickets to bonesville. They will laugh in their coworkers' faces, victorious over each and every one of them.(Spoiler: they don't.)





	Couples Try Having Sex While High

**Author's Note:**

> eyyy the late 420 fic
> 
> so did the summary read like a loud dramatic wrestling radio ad hag;ejigo;jeri anyways that's the Mood for this fic

When the email goes around that Eugene needs one more couple for his vid, Shane forwards it to Ryan without a second thought. He knows Ryan sometimes gets high with his ‘bball bros’, and Shane isn’t like morally opposed or whatever- he just doesn’t find being high good enough to be worth the money. (Ryan’s convinced he didn’t smoke enough that time, but like they went through Ryan’s entire stash. Either the effects aren’t dramatic enough or the amount he’d need to smoke up is too ridiculous for casual use.)

And while they don’t _have_ to do other videos- their Unsolved Sex Myths series garnering more viewers than either of them can fully process- it’s nice to do shorter projects too. Like a little break from real work, a little candy-coated glee that’s hard to believe he’s getting paid for. 

Mid-April, Eugene tells them they’ll be shooting on Wednesday, the last couple to go. Everyone else was filmed last week, Jen confessing her and Kelsey had just cuddled for five hours. He isn’t feeling particularly sexy come Wednesday morning- but he never does in the middle of the week. If it wasn’t for Eugene insisting this _had_ to be posted on 4/20, he’d try and push the filming back another day. 

“C’mon big guy, this is gonna be fun,” Ryan says, leading him into the set. It’s his favorite room to film in, the only one decked out ceiling to floor with cameras. Shane does prefer it if only to avoid additional people in the room zooming in on his ass or giving ‘constructive’ notes. 

For set dressing, there’s the comfortable-but-not-so-comfortable-you’d-actually-want-to-sleep-here bed, a chest of toys both sexual and not, some oversized pillows scattered on the floor, and a coffee table full of snacks. And the weed of course, Shane’s not sure how he missed the giant stash next to the oreos. 

Ryan grins up at him, “I told them we’d need a lot for you.” 

“Weed indeed,” Shane jokes, and Ryan laughs far louder than is warranted, making him grin. They both settle onto the floor pillows nearest the table of goodies.

“The ganja boys strike again.” 

“Ganjaligans.” 

Ryan snorts, grabbing an already wrapped joint. “That’s terrible. Double-jointed duo?”

“We can’t live up to that kind of flexibility. Bud boys. Blazed boys?” 

“Ehh… we’ll come back to names later.” Ryan flicks the lighter, and inhales deep, Shane watching the end of the joint burn away. He’s well aware of how deep Ryan’s lung capacity is, but the visual reminder still sends a wave of heat through him.

Ryan suddenly tugs him closer, Shane barely getting out a, “What?” And then Ryan’s exhaling into his mouth, warm smoke coating his lungs as he breathes it in. 

He coughs instinctively, breaking contact, and Ryan laughs. Cheeks burning, the coughing only gets hoarser when he tries to suppress it. 

“Shut up, it’s a natural defense mechanism.” 

“Sorry baby,” Ryan teases, “I can ask Zack if he has any leftover special brownies?” 

Shane narrows his eyes, isn’t about to go down in buzzfeed history as that guy who needed edibles. 

“Hey, it’s cool,” Ryan says, softer, more serious when Shane doesn’t respond. “I like them better anyways even if they take longer. I mean who doesn’t like brownies right? We could make sundaes.” 

It’s sweet, but Shane just spotted a case of water bottles under the table, and he takes one out. “It’s fine, dry throat.” 

Ryan raises an eyebrow, taking another hit before passing. “If you’re sure,” he says, smoke sneaking out with his words. 

This time he manages not to choke, gulping down some water to keep it that way. It makes the next inhale easier, and just like that he has a system of drink, smoke, drink, smoke, getting more comfortable by the cycle. 

“Shit I’m high,” Ryan says. And as much as Shane’s been watching his mouth, specifically the way Ryan’s lips wrap around joints and push smoke out, he has no idea how much they’ve gone through so far. 

Shane squints, “I don’t think you’ve grown at all.” 

“Fuck off, I’m so high right now. I’m gonna check out what toys they left us. You should get on this level,” Ryan says, scrambling up to stand. 

Shane opens his mouth, and Ryan’s hand bops over it. “Ah-ah, no short jokes from the sober gallery.” 

Instinctively Shane licks his palm, and Ryan drops his hand with a laugh, drops a quick kiss as well before he goes over to the toy chest.

“The things I do for love,” Shane jokes to a camera, burning through joint after joint. Ryan’s bent over the far off wooden chest- possibly for his benefit, possibly because Ryan’s tiny and unaware- and Shane’s more than willing to sit here and stare. In fact, he’s pretty sure most of the footage is going to be him staring at Ryan. 

It isn’t until Ryan’s back with two plastic swords that Shane realizes he definitely isn’t sober anymore, and doesn’t know how long that’s been the case. His chest feels light, but it often feels that way when Ryan smiles at him and the way he’s grinning now, insufficient- no _conflicting_ \- data. 

“I challenge you to a duel,” Ryan says, tossing him a sword. 

“Fuck, alright.” Shane fumbles the catch twice somehow, and that seems to perfectly sum up why he never did sports in high school. (Even the basketball team stopped asking after him once they saw his performance in any gym class.)

“I won’t even go for that easy hit,” Ryan taunts. 

“Hey who are you calling easy?” 

Ryan’s eyes go apologetic, “Sorry, not like-”

Shane’s sword wacks Ryan’s calf. “And there goes your leg.” 

“Oh _that’s_ how you wanna play big boy?” Ryan says, cracking his knuckles as he moves onto just his right leg. “You’re going down.” 

Normally Shane would crack a joke, maybe be a little worried about Ryan’s competitive side coming out so early. Instead he taunts, “Righty Ryan, soon you’ll have no legs at all. Soon you’ll be all-”

Soft plastic thwaps against his left arm, and okay yeah, Shane deserved that for beginning to monologue. God he would have made such a great pirate or no, a Disney villain with a song and- 

“Dude, I killed you.” 

“That was my arm!” Shane exclaims, flailing the remaining one while moving out of Ryan’s reach. 

Ryan looks almost offended, “You fuckin’ cheat!” 

Shane swipes at Ryan’s remaining leg while he’s distracted, Ryan going to his knees with an angry glare. 

“Oh you’re in for it now!” 

Shane laughs, “C’mon babe, surrender. You look like that Monty Python knight. Give it up.” 

Ryan’s sword strikes out fast, somehow reaching Shane’s foot. He hops away, determined now- and a little unnerved by Ryan’s glare.

“Come closer coward! I’ll bite your face off!” 

“Fucking hell Ryan,” Shane breathes, trying to figure out how to end this without Ryan getting him first. 

Ryan suddenly _throws_ his sword, the aerodynamics funky and Shane’s attempted catch funkier, as it hits his chest. 

“Ah, victorious again,” Ryan says leaning back on his hands as Shane crumples to the ground, fake gasps passing his lips as he reaches for Ryan. 

“Mercy,” Shane whispers.

He snickers, “How the mighty have fallen.” 

His stomach rumbles, killing the moment, and Shane sits up, sliding closer to the snacks. Ryan follows, going for the smartfood as Shane starts gnawing on twizzlers. They’ve definitely never tasted this good, and he shoves more and more in his mouth.

Ryan starts giggling, barely getting any words out, “Not the- I don’t think we-” 

Ryan completely loses it, laughing hysterically, and Shane can’t help but join, especially when he sees it-

“You look like a chipmunk!” 

Ryan laughs even harder, cheeks puffed out, and Shane can’t stop seeing chipmunk Ryan. If he doesn’t forget he needs to order Ryan a chipmunk onesie, can already imagine him wearing it. Or, oh yes, during the holidays, Alvin and the Chipmunks playing in the background, Ryan probably making some furry joke while looking good enough that yeah, Shane could fuck him while wearing it, could even-

Ryan takes a deep breath, the sudden drop of laughter bringing Shane back to reality. 

“I’m guessing for this video they expected the sword fighting to be more naked. And without props.” 

“Just penises flying through the wind at each other?” 

Ryan nods, and they both collapse into giggles again. Distantly, Shane thinks the funny cigarettes aren’t so bad. Might even have been well named. 

He must have said something out loud, because Ryan looks way too smug, says, “Told ya so.” 

“Yeah, yeah, c’mere,” Shane says, laying back on the pillows and opening his arms. 

All the air punches out of his chest as Ryan flops on top of him, god he’s so beautiful. He loves him so much, still can’t believe he gets to have Ryan in his life. Hopefully for the rest of it, he wants to grow old with him, to-

Ryan leans up suddenly, and for a split second Shane believes he thought out loud again. “Shit, we’re supposed to be fucking.” 

Shane tries to jerk his hips up, probably fails, a yawn escaping him. “Mhmm you do that baby. I’m gonna take a quick nap.” 

“That does sound good…” 

Shane grins, “Sleeping beauty serial killer shit Ry.” 

Ryan snorts, cuddling back into his arms, “Fuck off. Post nap ‘m gonna ride your dick so hard it falls off.”

“Kinky,” Shane mumbles into Ryan’s hair, the two of them falling asleep.

.

A few hours later, Shane wakes up, head clear and mouth dry. He looks around the room, eyes falling on the bed as he remembers their challenge, “Dammit.” 

Ryan lightly slaps at his shoulder. “Shut up, m’sleeping.”

Shane’s too awake though, cupping Ryan’s neck, thumb brushing over his throat. “Wanna get high?” 

Ryan laughs into his chest, near silent, but the vibrations make Shane grin. “Five minutes,” he says, “just five more minutes.” 

“Alright,” Shane agrees, and Ryan’s already back asleep. There just might be something to that sleeping beauty shit, cause damn does Ryan look incredible. It takes a moment to realize he’s never really seen him sleeping in decent lighting- certainly not at spooky locations, and at home Ryan’s always up first. Like this though, Ryan looks more peaceful and fuck that makes him think of Ryan being-

Ryan whacks at his face, “Stop thinking so loud, I need my sleep.” 

With a chuckle, Shane does exactly that, falling back asleep as well.


End file.
